For the past 9 years I’ve had a good friend who was also an authority figure to me. It is not that this individual has suddenly passed away or become less of a friend, but his authority has been ripped/divorced from our relationship and that is hard to reconcile. It is sad, somewhat worrisome, but more so empty. When an individual has become such an important part of your life, regardless of the external issues/difficulties that may surround that circumstance, it is difficult and empty to know how to procede when they are gone.
I have told others that we just have to trust the system, and those who now have authority and see how things may continue. That still leaves the relationship with my friend. I’m still trying to figure out how to approach that. My respect/concern for our frienship has not diminished. The qualities that this person had and that influenced me the most will have many ripple effects through the lives that he touched. I believe those ripples to be positive and good things that one would strive to emulate.
It helps to write about this, for we have not been able to officially express our feelings, which I feel is wrong. That is just the nature of the situation.
Melancholy makes the time past with smaller tears. We love you Matthew. You served us all well. Some did not understand you, and they are less because of it. We will all learn from this and move on in this journey of life that we have been blessed to walk.